Saturdays at the eikaiwa (English school) are really weak. One of my co-workers was out, so I filled his shift for him. Last night, of course, I went to hang out with the old roommates, and there was a lot of drinking and not that much sleep. So, I am tired.
A friend of mine in Portland posted some pictures of my old favorite bar on Facebook. It is a few blocks walk from my old house and the atmosphere is eclectic, funky, and weird. I often felt more at home there than in my own living room, especially during some difficult periods at the old homestead with one especially horrible girlfriend, and I held my going away party there.
It was strange to see this lovely, special girl, who I had introduced to the bar and whose place in my life is still not entirely clear to me, with her friends in this place that I loved, and I felt so very, very far away. Today, low on cash yet again and fighting exhaustion, I wondered, I think maybe for the first time, what the hell am I doing here?
I don't know if there's a simple answer to that question, but my new job is going to need to be really pretty awesome or this thing probably just isn't going to work out. I've been making it by the skin of my teeth since I got here and it'll be a full 6 months of just barely...barely...skating by, and I really don't know how much more I can handle.
However, tomorrow is another day and the job looks to be pretty awesome.
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