time for a quick attitude adjustment.

I was on the phone with my friend B yesterday, and I was feeling pretty shitty. In fact, I think it'd be fair to say that I was feeling epically motherfucking shitty. Feeling sorry for myself. Feeling that I'd somehow been cheated out of or denied some well-deserved good fortune.

So, I was talking to B and bitching a regular blue streak, mostly about my financial situation....you may have noticed that my previous blog post was a love letter to my horrible financial situation, in a similar vein to my conversation with B. It's become a bit of an obsession, but I guess that's what happens when your student loan provider calls you every 8 hours to remind you that they need to get paid, despite the fact that you applied for a deferment weeks ago.

But I digress. Anyway, I was on the phone with B, and I realized that I was sounding pretty pathetic. Admittedly, it was a bit of a low point, but the fact remains that I do not enjoy being or sounding pathetic. So, it's time to get something straight: there are a lot of good things in my life, and I need to remember them.

1) And this really is Numero Fucking Uno: My father is still alive. He could teach a mule a thing (or three) about being stubborn and he's still kicking. It's very likely going to take a lot more than a heart attack or two to stop my old man. Did I mention that he worked all day after major heart attack? Yeah. That's stubborn.

Now, in no particular order:

2) I have an amazing, loving family, who supports me even when I do crazy shit like run off to foreign countries to live in poverty.
3) I am blessed by the company of a beautiful, intelligent woman who is crazy about me.
4) My friends really love and care for me more deeply than I could have imagined possible, or imagined that I deserved, once upon a time.
5) My financial situation will eventually improve here, and I will achieve my goals in Japan. That's not an assertion or an idle promise, it's a fucking fact. I will not ever...EVER...be stopped, by anything short of total, absolute catastrophe. When I set to do something...and you may take this to the bank...I will accomplish my goals. The goalposts may shift from time to time, because I am willing to adapt to events as they occur, but I will not be deterred in my mission once I truly make up my mind. I am my father's son, and I learned how to be fucking stubborn from the King, as did my sister and brother.

Last, but not least:

6) I can walk. I'll have to explain this one another time, but let me assure you, it's something that I need to remember to be grateful for every single day. Sometimes I forget, but today I am grateful that I can walk, as you should be, as well.