Earthquake Stories.

So, the fact of the matter is that I was way, way too hungover to write anything interesting during the Time of the Quake, but it was a fascinating time to be in Tokyo. I should probably write a few of these down.

First of all, the liver abuse. So epic. It turns out that not going to work for a couple of weeks during a possible apocalypse scenario is an irresistible license to party your face off, which I did. Vigorously. I met up with my friend...let's just call him AW...and his girlfriend in Osaka. Prior to his unfortunate relocation out of the country, AW was legendary for being a core member of a group of the cheapest drunks in Tokyo. We happened to be staying at the same shitty, dirt-cheap hotel, and we decided to go out clubbing. I knew a guy in Osaka who DJs all the time and was pretty well connected, so we were going to meet up with him at one of the millions of imitation Irish pubs that you can apparently find in every big city in Japan. Prior to that meeting, though, AW bought a bottle of shochu, which is basically potato/rice vodka. The evil thing about it, though, is that it's about half as strong, which makes it super...super...easy to over indulge. We killed a bottle between the two of us in about 20 or 30 minutes, and holy fuck, was that a bad idea.

I will finish this story a little later. Time for bed.

Update from Osaka.

I'm in the lobby of the hotel/hostel that I'm staying at.  Not quite sure which one it is, since it has some clear characteristics of both.  I have my own room, but bath and bathroom are shared.  The joint has a Japanese style bath with what we will refer to as a hot tub and sauna. It's not really a hot tub, but I don't really know any words in English that would specifically cover a Japanese bath.  Maybe just Japanese bath.

Anyway.  The nuclear situation seems to be stabilizing.  The news hasn't gotten noticeably worse for a couple of days now, which is a big relief.  The drumbeat of ever-worsening news has been nerve-wracking, despite the fact that it has been generally acknowledged that the worst-case scenario is not particularly dangerous outside of a fairly small radius.  I'm considering going back to Tokyo in the not-distant future, although I had planned a trip to Fukuoka, which is further west from here.  The return trip to Tokyo would be a serious pain in the ass, though, and I'm not sure I want to spend the time/energy to make it happen cheaply and painlessly.  It would involve spending a lot of hours on either a bus or a local train.  I could take the shinkansen (bullet train), but they are pretty ridiculously expensive, and, even then, it would be a 6 or 7 hour trip.

So...we'll see what happens.  I can probably stay in Osaka or Kyoto for a few more days, as well.

Going to try to get a few more hours of sleep, all the people checking out woke me up earlier than I wanted.

Hey everybody...

I just woke up and checked the news. I realize that there's undoubtedly a lot of panic in the media right now over the nuclear situation in Japan, so I wanted to take a minute to address it and to let you know my future plans.

First, let me post a summary of a conference call with the British Embassy. Note that one of the questions addressed here was asked by the head of my school.

BEGIN BRIEFING
BCCJ Members Update on Japan’s Nuclear Power station situation

At 5pm Tokyo time (Tuesday 15th March 2011) a telephone briefing was given by Sir John Beddington the UK’s Chief Scientific adviser and Hilary Walker Deputy Director Emergency Preparedness at the Department of Health.

“Unequivocally, Tokyo will not be affected by the radiation fallout of explosions that have or may occur at the Fukushima nuclear power stations.”

The danger area is within the 30 kilometer evacuation zone and no one is recommended or will be allowed to enter this area other than those people directly involved with the emergency procedures currently being undertaken at both Fukushima 1 & 2.

Sir John went on to answer a series of questions including a comparison between Chernobyl and Japan. He said “they are entirely different, Chernobyl exploded and there was a subsequent fire with radioactive materials being launched 30,000 ft into the air. The maximum height of any Fukushima explosions would be no more than 500 metres."

“The radiation that has been released is miniscule and would have to be orders of 1,000 or more for it to be a threat to humans” This was confirmed by Hilary Walker.

He went on to say that the Japanese authorities are doing their best to keep the reactors cooled and that this is a continuing operation. All workers on site dealing with the emergency are being fully decontaminated at the end of each shift.

When asked on how reliable was the information coming from the Japanese authorities as to radiation levels he said “this cannot be fabricated and the Japanese authorities are positing all the readings on the recognized international inforamton sites which they are obliged to do. Independent verification shows that the data provided is accurate”.

In answer to a specific question from the Head of the British School in Tokyo, Sir John Beddington and Hilary Walker said that there was no reason at all for the school to be closed unless there were other issues such as power outages and transport problems.

David Fitton, First Minister at the British Embassy in Tokyo moderated the teleconference and confirmed that a transcript of the briefing will be available on the Embassy website later today.

BCCJ members are encouraged to regularly check the Embassy website as well as the Chamber website and Facebook sites for the latest information.
END BRIEFING

Please note that the British Embassy's sole duty in Japan is to protect its citizens...it has no motivation whatsoever to lie or cover up for the Japanese government. The French Embassy, which recommended that its citizens leave Tokyo, is also of the opinion that there is no radiological danger in Tokyo. I am presently in Osaka, which is about 750 kilometer from the reactor site. Let me be very, very clear. The expert opinion is that there is no danger to Tokyo from the nuclear reactors. There may be a slight, but not dangerous, bump in radiation levels, but no need to even leave Tokyo. The only reason that I left is because I effectively have a week of vacation, and Tokyo is just not a fun place to be right now due to rolling blackouts and panic over food and water.

There has been some talk of my returning to the United States, and I'd like to address that, as well. I do not wish to return at this time. Japan, presently, is my home, and I do not believe in abandoning your home except in the most extreme situations. In this case, the most extreme situation would be widespread contamination in Tokyo, which has been declared a virtual impossibility by very, very knowledgeable sources. Since I do not possess detailed knowledge, myself, of nuclear reactor design, I will defer to their expertise until it is demonstrated to be insufficient. So far, that has not been the case, and, in fact, the reactors are melting down in precisely the way predicted by experts, despite the occasional explosion. Yesterday, Tokyo's radiation level did spike to levels that were still under the normal daily background radiation level of Denver, Colorado. That's right. In the middle of a nuclear crisis, Tokyo is less radioactive than...DENVER ON A NORMAL DAY.

If the experts are proved wrong, and Tokyo does receive a significantly contaminating dose of radiation, then the likely scenario is that I will lose my job, return the States to give everyone a hug and a kiss...and then I will come back to Japan to see what I can do about helping to clean up. I love this country, even with all its flaws and warts.

I love you all. I'm fine. Please take care. I'm posting this to my blog, as well, and will be better about distributing updates via the blog.
http://tokyoiowan.blogspot.com/

-Ryan

Update.

Well, well. It's been so long. Things have changed so much that I'm not even sure where to start. Bear with me.

First. I have been having crazy, crazy dreams. So vivid and so bizarre. It seems like something is trying to get out of my head, so I thought maybe I should let it out. Writing is always good for that. I might try to record some dreams here, although, usually, I am mostly concerned with getting my ass to work right after I wake up in the morning.

Second. I have a new job. I got a gig as a science technician at a private international school here in Tokyo. I play with chemicals and electricity and fire, and I get paid for it. The job isn't all roses, but it's improved tremendously since the first couple of months.

Third. The DJing has been going just smashingly, and I have a pretty big gig next month. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to call it the biggest of my DJ career, to date, and I hope to leverage it into other large events.

Fourth. One of the benefits of my new job is an even-more-tremendous amount of vacation than I had previously, which means that I can go back to the States for well over a month next summer...possibly nearly 2 months. I can't wait to see my friends and family, it's been way, way, way too long.

Awright, that about does it for an update. Hopefully the next one will include disturbing tales of my bizarre dreams.

Yesterday.

I have 10 minutes to write a thoughtful, cogent post before my next class.  I'm also a bit hungover and have had less than the ideal amount of sleep.  Ahhh, a challenge.

Yesterday was the first day that I can remember in recent history when I felt happy.  I'm referring to actual happiness over the course of an extended period of time, as opposed to just a moment or two of fleeting joy smack dab in the center of an ocean of low-level depression.  Yesterday the weather finally...FINALLY...really broke, and we had a legitimately cool day and glorious, glorious rain.  The rain was too heavy in the morning, but a perfect Oregonian drizzle for the rest of the day. 

I went to my friend's art show opening.  I had a quick dinner with my roommates.  I DJed.  I came home to my roommates having a few late night drinks, in which I also partook.

As I was speed-walking in the cool rain to the bar in Koenji where I've recently been DJing, it felt like a million pounds had lifted off of my shoulders.  Seriously...fuck Tokyo summers. 

New room and a haircut.

I moved downstairs from my old room. It was pretty much awful on every conceivable level, but the new one is actually about 75% of the way to moderate niceness. 25 years ago, it was probably awesome. It's Japanese style, which means that there's a lot of wood and frames and paper and stuff. The paper, naturally, has a few holes in it. Technically, it's a tatami (woven straw mats) room, but the mats were long ago covered up with some moderately horrible wood-esque flooring. It doesn't look terrible, but the tatami would be a lot better if they weren't, undoubtedly, hideously stained. The floor has this generally mushy feeling, which is characteristic of tatami, but floors all over the house have kind of a similar feeling to them. This place won't last another 10 years, which is kind of a shame because there are very few houses left in Tokyo that are this old.

Other stuff: I'm organizing my stuff in a bid to throw out a god-awful plastic drawer thing where I was keeping everything. Jun hated it and I have developed a strong aversion to it, myself. I picked up 2 or 3 small plastic bins and have been going through it. I'm surprised to find that it all fits into a pretty small amount of space. Apparently organization really *is* important. See, I'm learning new things. My room is a bit of a disaster right now, but progress is being made. Might have it all put away tonight, I dunno.

More stuff: I've been DJing pretty regularly. I think I'm on track to DJ every weekend this month, actually. It's keeping me busy searching out new and improved music for the people. I've also been out to the clubs. After 13 years DJing, I'm a pretty big fan of dancing, if the music is up to par.

One more item of stuff: I talked to my friend Karen last night, and it was good to hear her friendly voice. She's going to send a care package, which is officially awesome. I'm grateful.

Last: I got a haircut today. I'm a little surprised that I made it this long, especially in this christ-awful heat, but it's pretty fucking short at the moment. I don't doubt that I'll grow it out a bit again in the not-terribly-distant future, but it's nice to have a low maintenance head again.

Ready to go back to school...

The weather in Tokyo during August is nightmarishly horrible. Intense heat and intense humidity. Showering is basically pointless due to the fact that you'll be soaking wet again within a matter of minutes. Airconditioning helps, but sometimes has trouble defeating the heat. I've awakened sweating even with the AC on full blast. Once I get heated up, nothing cools me down quickly, as evidenced by the gallons of sweat following my walk/workout today, even after the shower.

Tomorrow is my last day of vacation. I'm going to spend it at the beach with some friends. I don't have much money left for this month, and it's expensive to get there, but I have to find enjoyment where I can right at the moment. I need it.

My new track is coming along well, but it is largely a process of trial and error; listening a lot to new changes and tweaks before deciding whether or not I want to keep them or tweak further. I wouldn't call it frustrating, really, but it's definitely extremely time consuming. I wish there was a way to speed it up, but maybe that just comes with more practice.

The story.

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Jun and I broke up last weekend. We had very, very different styles of communication, especially during times of anger or high stress, and we just couldn't make it work any more. It was a great ride...I don't have any hard feelings or regrets, but it was time. All good things come to an end, sooner or later, and bad ones too, for that matter. Our relationship had a fair amount of both, but, in the end, the good just couldn't compete with the bad any more.

I'm on vacation...I'll be keeping myself busy and distracted with my music. I have a track that's coming along. If anyone wants to call, I'd love to hear from you.

New place.

I've moved into my new place and I'm feeling...well, depressed at the moment.

About the house: it's old. I'm told that it's over 80 year old, which makes it a rare survivor of the Tokyo firebombings in WW2. I tend to like old things, so that part is fine, but the bad part is that it will probably fall down (by itself) inside the next 10 years. My room is small, and not particularly clean or nice in any noticable ways. I decided that I probably just shouldn't do anything today, but tomorrow I'm going to give a good vacuuming and cleaning, which should marginally improve the situation.

I'll post another update tomorrow. Gonna watch a movie...

Cloudy day.

The rainy season is officially in full swing in Tokyo. Warm and super muggy will quickly turn to hot and super muggy until fall comes in September. Fortunately, I have a big chunk of time off during the summer, and this is good because, of my 3 schools, only 1 is air conditioned in the classrooms. When it's hot out, I wake up sweating and continue to sweat until I get home and flip on the AC. It's not that great, but you get used to it.

Other news...not much, right now. I started working on a new song...it's coming along, but I'm having some trouble getting the introduction right where I want it. It'll all work out in the end.

Swimming.

So, I went back to the pool yesterday after a long respite. I'd had a nasty cold on and off for about a month or so, but it appears that I've kicked it...so, back to the pool. I'm sore today, but I'll survive. It's always interesting to go to the pool because I'm invariable the only white guy there and the other swimmers are always pretty curious about me. A couple of tattoos and piercings undoubtedly attract attention, in addition to the fact that I'm a) not Japanese and b) have body hair. I'm used to people staring a bit, but the intensity level definitely gets cranked up in situations where there aren't many clothes involved. It doesn't really bother me.

I've been creatively stagnating a bit, so it might be time for another music project. I'm planning on slowing down some Robert Johnson tracks, but that's actually pretty mindless in creative terms, so I'm thinking it might be about time for another original track. We'll see what happens.

Facebook.

I deleted my facebook account a couple of days ago. The privacy settings had become ridiculously convoluted, and the simple fact is that I no longer trust them with my personal information. I shouldn't have to constantly update my privacy settings in order to make sure that a website isn't spreading my information all over the web. Facebook's CEO has basically said that he doesn't think that their users' privacy is important, and, I'm sorry, that's just not acceptable.

Other stuff: Today I taught the first graders today at one of my schools for the first time. It was funny...they were excited, and probably a little scared, I think. One little girl was right on the verge of crying when it was her turn to introduce herself to me...she couldn't talk in front of the class, and I could tell she was about to lose it, so I smiled and gently sent her back to her seat. The Japanese teacher comforted her a little, but she still shed a couple of tears. Nothing too major, but I didn't want her to be traumatized by her first English class, so I came back to that class for lunch. I was glad to see that she was fine, and she came up to me and talked to me a couple of times, sans tears, and she helped out when a couple of the kids decided to give me a spontaneous back rub. I'll take it. They love touching me, for some reason.

I'm still working on the story of Jun's grandma's funeral, and it's turning out to be a bit more epic than intended. I'll try to wrap it up in the not-too-distant future.

Busy times.

Well, a lot has been going on lately, but I haven't been posting to this blog much and I'm going to take some time over the next few days to rectify that.

First of all, I'm on spring break and it is friggin' sweet. I have 3 weeks off (2 of which have now passed). Nice.

So, I guess I should probably start the catching up with the end of the school year. In Japan, the school year ends in March, so I had to say goodbye to my students. Here's how that went:

As you may or may not know, I was teaching at both a junior high school and an elementary school. For reasons not entirely clear to me, I finished at the elementary school a week before the junior high, which threw my schedule into a bit of disarray. No big deal.

Saying goodbye to the elementary students was not that easy, however. I'd grown pretty attached to them over the year, especially some of the little ones, a few of whom had become totally enamored with me over the course of the year. I'll *never* forget one morning when a little boy took my hand and escorted me across the entire playground, smiling delightedly the whole time.

On my last day, I had my last class with some of the second graders. At the beginning of class, I told them, in Japanese, that it was my last day. Except for an occasional word here or there, I don't usually speak Japanese in class, but my last days at the school I made a some exceptions to that rule. So, I told them that it was my last day and then we conducted the class per usual.

A popular game with the second graders is something called "Fruit Basket." It's a form of musical chairs that is played in an inward-facing circle instead of back to back. We played the game, per usual, at the end of class, and finally the last bell rang. I scrambled of the students out of their seats for one last round of the game, and they eventually got themselves seated in their chairs again (small children aren't known, necessarily, for their rapid decision-making skills). After they'd gotten situated, I sat down, myself, in the middle of the circle, smiled, and started waving to my students.

It's a little difficult to accurately describe the moment when you realize that you could be crushed to death by a mob of screaming 2nd graders. They seem so cute and innocent, but then when they are piling on top you like a pack of crazed howler monkeys, well...it's not quite so fun then, now is it?

I make light, but it was actually extremely touching. Some of the students were crying. One kid took a hit to the mouth in all the excitement and ended up with a bloody lip. A couple of the students gave me several dozen origami cranes that they'd folded themselves. One girl gave me a handwritten note (in Japanese, of course) thanking me for teaching her and for being kind to the students.

I walked out of that school at a little after 4 o'clock on a Friday afternoon. As I made the long walk, for the last time, across the playground, kids from all over the playground yelled my name and waved goodbye to me. I felt a lot of love from them on that last day, and it's not something I'll ever forget.

Creative energy.

So, I haven't been updating this thing much, largely due to the fact that I am channeling most of my creative energy into a couple of music projects. 

First:  I DJed a couple of weeks ago at a bar in Omotesando.  There weren't a ton of people there, due to the fact that I arranged it a few short days before I actually played didn't have much promotion time.  However, I was trying out some new gear live for the first time, and that's not necessarily the time to be working in front of a lot of people.  In any case, the new stuff worked nicely and I'd call the evening a modest success, technically speaking. 

I recorded the set, and here are the results: 
Part 1:  http://www.mediafire.com/?jn11mtm5qym
Part 2:  http://www.mediafire.com/?gq5n3gywoye

Second:  I am working on an original composition.  Right now it's in the early construction stages...I have a beat.  I have a hook.  I have some harmonization.  I'm working on the bass line.  The next step is to arrange the components and add layers.  I've done remixes, but this is actually *not* my first original composition. 

HERE is my first original composition:  http://www.mediafire.com/file/jrotwmzdquz/New Hope (instrumental).mp3.  I started working on this track when I first got to Tokyo, literally on one of my first few nights in town, when I was couchsurfing and really had no idea what the fuck I'd be doing in a week or two weeks' time.  I haven't really shared this track much, previously, because it feels strangely personal and because I didn't really like it much when I finished it.  Time has brought a little perspective, though, and it is what it is. 

While I'm at it, here is a remix that I made shortly after I composed that last track there:  http://www.mediafire.com/?kdjmbmyza2n.  This track was a lot of fun, although I confess that I'm not entirely satisfied with the final mix.  On a large speaker system, it is definitely lacking punch, for some reason.  I've been meaning to remix the remix, but I haven't gotten around to it.

So, there you have it.  Busy times. 

Busy, busy, busy.

I've been working a lot with my new DJ software and hardware, and my work is starting to bear fruit.  The problem is that a music collection as massive as mine requires and enormous amount of preparation time, in total, to prepare it for full use with the software.  I can just load a track and play it, but there are a lot more options available if I do the prep work ahead of time.  Sometimes it's really painless...others, not so much.

In other news, I've also been working on a short story.  I wrote it both as a stand alone story, and as a potential opening chapter to a larger work.  My 1st draft is done, in any case, and maybe now I can think about writing a follow up short story (or chapter 2, if you prefer).

BUSY!

Too long!

I've been super busy working on a bunch of new music stuff recently, so I haven't been spending much time bloggin'. So, let's recap:

The holidays are over now. I started work last week after a nice, long vacation. There wasn't a whole lot of relaxing going on during vacation, but it was long.

Christmas was in Korea and New Year's was spent at Jun's parents' house. Both were fun and interesting, although Korea was a bit difficult, at times. I missed my family during the Xmas season (duhh). Jun's parents' place was a good time. Her brother and sister-in-law came over with their two kids, ages 6 and 8, and there was much tickling. We also ate and drank a lot of great food and sake, respectively.

On New Year's Day, we visited a shrine and then walked around a bit. More good times were had.

So, last week I only had one day of class and this week I'll be having 4 days...it's a short week. Yay.

There's the recap. Current projects include: putting together a DJ night here in Tokyo, practicing said DJing, and working on some remixing. I've been fairly tightly focused on the music, and I'd like to keep it that way for a while.

Done! More soon!

From South Korea.

Jun and I are presently at a hostel in South Korea.  The lounge is small, but cozy and comfortable, and it's from here that I am writing a quick blog post. 

 

Yesterday was Christmas, and it was still depressing to be away from my friends and family.  Jun and I bickered for a solid percentage of the day, which was not helpful.  It happens.  We had a crab and cake on Christmas Eve, but we didn't particularly *celebrate* Christmas.  However, this year was still massively better than last year, as followers of this blog will be aware.  Holy God, it was horrible.

 

We hiked and rode rented bikes around this small town that we're staying in, and I got some pictures that I'm feeling hopeful about.  I'll need to see them in a large size to tell for sure...the tiny little camera screen doesn't reveal much.

 

South Korea is nice and it's interesting and I'll post more about it later, but right now I just miss my brother and sister-in-law's nice warm kitchen, and the warm love of my family.  Maybe next year.

The Last Week.

This is my last week before vacation...I have two more days at the junior high and 2 days at the elementary school.  The elementary school has missed a bunch of classes, due to swine flu, so, naturally, I get to make up those classes.  It's less than ideal...I spend a lot of my canceled class-time doing prep-work, but there's also a fair amount of thumb-twiddling.  The thumb-twiddling time can be spent in some productive ways, such as learning Japanese or writing blogs, but I'd trade it for a balance...teaching 6 classes a day at the ES is very specifically  *not* fun.

I have some new DJ gear on the way, which is good because I've been slowly losing my mind over the course of the last year.  I like making music, but the spontaneity is definitely lacking when it takes me 3 or 4 hours to make a tiny beat loop that my perfectionistic-ass brain is still mildly dissatisfied with.  Just loading up some tracks on the turntables and rocking out is massively more satisfying, and, more importantly, I need the damn practice so I can start DJing out again in Tokyo.  I'm tired to trying to do it in electronics stores...it's funny, but it's shitty practice.

Anyway...next week, KOREA!  Yay.  Jun and I are excited, although I'm currently harboring a healthy paranoia about getting sick.  Yeah, we'll see what happens on that front.  After we get back, it's off to her parents for New Year's.  I'll definitely have some healthy blogging to do when I get back, so keep your eyes on this here space.

Thanksgiving 2009.

I spent Thanksgiving in Tokyo again this year.  It was my second.  This year, like last year, I had to work on the big day.  Depressing at best.  However, the work week ended and then I got in a quick phone call to the family as it was all winding down over at my my brother and sister-in-law's place.  So, that was nice, although it was definitely a sorry-ass substitute for eating and drinking with my family. 

Over the weekend, Jun and I celebrated properly.  We (rather, she) managed to find whole chickens at one of our local butcher shops.  They are awesome.  The evening before, we also picked up some bread and herbs for the stuffing, and a few nice microbrews and wine.  I looked for pumpkin pie, but failed terribly.  I think I'll probably just have to make one from scratch, if I can find the ingredients.  On Saturday, while I assembled our new storage box out on the porch, Jun skillfully whipped up the stuffing and threw the bird in the oven.  It's funny how we easily slipped into the stereotypical gender roles, although that's not always (or even usually) the case.  Later, as bird-eating time approached, I peeled up some potatoes and mashed them mercilessly and Jun completed the meal with a gravy, her first attempt.

Everything turned out great, except the gravy...although it tasted fine, it ended up looking like greasy, brown cottage cheese.  My potatoes were a bit on the dry side.  Next time, I'll be using more milk, I think. 

This year, I am thankful:  That my father is still alive.  That I have a wonderful and caring girlfriend.  That I have a fantastic family and friends.  That I have a stable job.  That my health is reasonably good.  That I can get up out of bed and walk, every day.

Assorted things.

For the last week and a half, I've been adding a single new Japanese word to my vocabulary every day.  I call it The Word of The Day, or Kyo No Tango (今日の単語) in Japanese.  In order to increase the impact of The Word of The Day, I'm thinking about starting a new blog called...this is creative, now...The Word of The Day.  See what I did there?  Creative, huh?  Today's word is kitsuen (喫煙), which is a noun that means "smoking."  It's relevant because I caught some junior high kids smoking last week (先週、中学生を喫煙して見たから、その単語は大切です。）

Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes.  I have to set it up from home, and I have some other things keeping me occupied at the moment.  I'll update in this space later.

One of those things that will be keeping me busy is that I recently discovered that I have the ability to mix with my laptop and keyboard, using the keyboard as my external controller (instead of CDs or turntables).  The upshot of that is that I can compose and practice sets from home in advance of shows, and I can practice my little heart out and train up my ears.  I had been going out to various electronics stores and hijacking their systems for practice, which is amusing but not very practical. 

Finally, Jun and I got some bad news on Friday.  It wasn't unexpected, but it's pretty personal, so I'm not going to post it here.  Anybody who wants to check in should feel free...otherwise, my good friends will probably hear about it sooner or later.  We'll just chalk it up to one of life's little challenges, but I'm a strong believer that those things make us stronger and better people.  I've made a point of leading an interesting life, and it wouldn't be very interesting if it were always easy, now would it?