Things are slowing down a bit, now, since I'm looking for work and trying not to spend money. Today I mostly hung out around the house, although I did take a quick trip down to the local market to buy some real food. I've been eating a lot of noodles and pre-packaged crap, so it was time to go pick up some vegetables and juice and a staple or two. Groceries here actually aren't that expensive and seafood is insanely cheap, so I'll probably be frequently augmenting my protein supply with it, as well as bribing local stray kitties who think that they are impervious to my charms.
I've been feeling a bit of the malaise over the last couple of days. It was largely due, today, to the fact that my knee has been fucked up and I've been trying to rest it and ice it and compress it and elevate it. It's a pain in the ass, as you'd suspect, but the procedure does seem to be helping. If I can't get it substantially under control in the next few days, though, it'll be time to see a doctor. I did buy travel insurance before I left, so it's not a huge deal, although I don't really want to pay the deductible, either.
I've been getting in touch with some anger over my ex's refusal to offer me any kind of support during this difficult transitional period, but, on the other hand, it's not like it's a big change from her behavior over the last 2 months. I don't know how she went from so warm to so cold...it makes me question my judgment in the whole matter. Maybe she was never all that warm to begin with. Right now it feels like future friendship with her is fairly out of the question, but I suppose that could all change. I shouldn't have to beg my friends to be my friends when I need them...that I know for a fucking fact.
On the other hand, anger is probably exactly what I needed to just cut strings once and for all and really move on with my life, so maybe it's all for the best. Besides, I've been getting a lot of support from my old friends and from new and unexpected quarters, so that has really helped to keep me going and stay focused on the future. More on that later.
Anyway, I guess this wasn't all that quick. I can write for days, these days, when I let open the floodgates. Tomorrow I'll try to provide a description of the area and my apartment for you all.
2 comments:
Anger is a secondary emotion -
It stems from fear, loss, sadness, etc.
Logically, you can't take your ex's behavior personally - it's her issue and hers alone.
Emotionally? Ya, well good luck. It hurts. It hurts like hell.
Hopefully you'll come to a place where you can have some compassion for her.....remember - it's not about you.
Thanks for the add - I enjoy reading your blog.
Sherry -
Oooppps - how about taking some pictures!!!??!
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